Freedom by Jonathan Franzen

OK, first a little housekeeping:  I'm behind.  Plain and simple.  Sorry nerds.  I have about five book reviews to write and publish so expect rapid fire blog posts in the next week or two.  And if you are an author or publisher who has sent me a book to review, rest assured I am getting to you, slowly but surely.  I apologize for the delay.

Now that I have that out of the way, let's get on to the stink fest that is tonight's book selection - Freedom by Jonathan Franzen.  I know what you're thinking.  It's on all the best seller lists!  Every intellectual in America has read it!  But Oprah loved it!  I don't care.  Oprah also loved A Million Little Pieces and we all know how that turned out.  This book sucked.  Bad.  It sucked so bad I've already sold it back to Half Priced Books.  Nothing fucking happens!  Sorry for the language but I'm pissed I wasted any time on it.

Freedom revolves around Patty and Walter Berglund, a typical liberal, yuppie - yet dysfunctional - St. Paul, Minnesota couple and their children, friends and neighbors. The book opens with a short introduction to the family but then jumps around a bit.  There is a section written from Patty's point of view giving some background on her upbringing and college life at the University of Minnesota where she first meets Walter and his roommate, musician Richard Katz.  Then it jumps from chapter chapter, written from different characters points of view - Katz as he gains some notoriety and fame as a musician; Joey, Walter and Patty's strangely opportunistic and overly capitalist son as he embarks on his first year at college; Walter as he embarks on a new career in Washington DC working for a coal company yet has hopes of using their substantial resources to save an endangered tropical bird. 

Apparently it continues from there.  I'm not sure.  I quit after the halfway mark. But let's be clear, that's still quite a long while that I rode this book out.  It's over 500 pages.   I just kept reading and reading and reading thinking eventually something was going to happen but I was wrong.  It's just a bunch of white people with white people problems.  Patty grew up in an East Coast, politically involved family.  She excelled at sports and won a scholarship to the University of MN to play basketball.  But somehow she felt deprived and eventually estranged herself from her family.  Katz struggles as a starving musician for years but shuns success and acclaim once it finally comes his way.  Everything comes easy to Joey, including school, friends, girls and money.  He goes to college in Virginia to get away from his family, yet continues to string along his high school girlfriend because he still craves the satisfaction of being superior to someone.

It's just all so very shallow and pathetic.  I'm not saying these characters' problems and challenges aren't significant.  No problem or situation is more significant than to the person who is experiencing it and it's definitely all relative.  But some perspective is healthy.  There are people dying of awful sicknesses, suffering abuse, starving, being oppressed by governments, etc. all over the world.  There are worse things in life than being the black sheep of your family.  I'm just sayin'...

I'm giving Freedom only one bow. 

I hated it.  If that makes me a non-intellectual, then so be it.  I'm OK with it.  I'm sure there are people who will read this review and think that I just didn't get it.  They are probably right and I'm OK with that too.  Maybe they can enlighten me.  I'm open to discussion.  Until next time, fellow book nerds, happy reading!

The American War by Don Meyer

When the author contacted me asking if I would review this book, he provided the following blurb:

In the summer of 1969 elements of the 101st Airborne went back to the A. Shau Valley in South Vietnam.

In the summer of 1864 the 10th Vermont, part of General Ricketts' Third Division, marched into the Shenandoah Valley in Virginia.

Sam Kensington was there at both campaigns.

OK, you got my attention.  I would say 75% of the review requests I receive are fantasy, horror or mystery based.  It seems to be the go-to genres for independent authors.  Unfortunately, though, these are not my go-to genres.  But I do enjoy a good history-based story so I agreed to review The American War by Don Meyer.  Mostly I wanted to see how Meyer would pull this story off and make it believable - how a soldier could be in both wars, 100 years apart.

I included the above author's blurb solely for the fact that he could do a much better job summarizing his novel than it turns out I can.  Sadly, I did not finish the book.  As much as I tried to, I could not engage in the story.  I don't particularly like modern day wartime books or movies, especially those based on the Vietnam War.  Perhaps they are just too grim and depressing for my tastes. 

If the majority of the story had actually taken place in the Civil War era, I may have found the book more enjoyable.  However, it appears the lead character, the above Sam Kensington, is firmly rooted in the Vietnam War era and only dreaming that he is in the Civil War.  And the two events are somehow connected via a gun.  So Meyer only gives us glipses and snapshots of the Civil War.  Pity, because I lost interest fast.

It's clear Meyer did his research on both wars - perhaps, I suspect, might have even been in the Vietnam War himself and even at the particular campaign featured in the book.  He has a near encyclopedic knowledge of the everyday life, mannerisms and language of the American soldier in the Vietnam War.  And he handles the colloquial switch well between the two eras.  He isn's using the same voice for the two different time periods.  His voice changes according to the timeperiod and I find that to be the mark of an above average writer. 

Still, however, I could not bring myself to finish the book.  I have many, many books on my library's to-read shelf - both of my own choosing and those I am obligated to review for authors and publishers.  I don't have time to slog through a book that isn't catching my fancy.  And if you, dear reader, are anything like me, it takes me ten times longer to read a book I'm not enjoying than one I am loving.  It's harder to pick the book up and it's harder to stay focused on it.

I am giving The American War two bows - not because it isn't well written but because it just wasn't my cup of tea.  I beleive I will pass it on to someone who finds war novels more enjoyable than I.

*In accordance with FTC guidelines, I must disclose that I received this book free from the publisher in exchange for a review posted here on my blog.

Bending the Boyne by J.S. Dunn

Today's reading selection is brought to you by the great nation of Ireland - land of leprechauns, four leaf clovers and Guiness.  Although Bending the Boyne features none of these, mostly because it is set in 2200 BCE Ireland. 

We open on a quiet, peaceful tribe along the Boyne river in Eastern Ireland.  The Starwatchers, as the tribe is called, are highly skilled in just what their name implies.  They study the skies day and night, taking meticulous notes by way of intricate stone carvings.  They have also built large earthen mounds to aid in their starwatching and equinox and solstice celebrations - mounds I was unaware actually existed until I did a brief Google search:


People built this 4200 years ago!

The Starwatchers have gone about their business, presumably for centuries, virtually unmolested and isolated on their small portion of the small island.  Meanwhile, unbeknownst to them, the Bronze Age is in full swing.  Foreigners have arrived and are searching for copper and gold stores on Ireland and they don't really give a fig about the Starwatchers and their peaceful way of life.  Typical alpha male bullies, the Intruders set up shop along the Boyne striping the land and stealing the Starwatchers crops and livestock.

When a tragic and violent event occurs, Boann, a headstrong daughter of a Starwatcher elder, sacrifices her safety, security and way of life by offering to marry the Intruders' leader and, by extension, broker peace between the two tribes.

Meanwhile, her childhood friend, Cian, has also infiltrated the Intruder tribe mostly for adventure and excitement that life on the Boyne can't provide him.  He begins a great Forrest-Gump-like journey throughout Northern Europe and discovers there is much more to the world than he ever imagined.

Apparently, the characters and events in Bending the Boyne are all based on old Irish mythology and folklore.  Truthfully, I was unaware Ireland had mythology and folklore outside said leprechauns so the subject matter intrigued me.  Dunn has taken this mythology, fleshed the stories out, and set them in a very real geographic location (see photo above) during a very real historical period (the Bronze Age).  Dunn has included a helpful appendix providing pronunciations (for example Cian is pronounced kee uhn not cee ann as I had begun saying it in my head while reading), origins, and a brief account of the character's original depiction in folklore.

I found Bending the Boyne to be quite original.  I, personally, have never read any novel set in the Bronze Age containing Irish mythological characters.  And I found it to be quite unexpectedly educational.  Dunn paints a strong picture of European culture during the Bronze Age and provides ample background on how bronze is created and why it was so valuable at the time.

The book does get a little slow in the middle.  More characters are added, all with complicated names.  I kept the appendix bookmarked and had to refer back to it frequently.  And the story jumps around a bit, from the Starwatcher village, to the Intruder camp, to Cian's travels.  Perhaps the undertaking was a little more ambitious than one book could handle.

For this, I give Bending the Boyne three and a half bows.  Interesting and unique subject matter, but perhaps a little dense and disjointed.

Until next time, fellow book nerds, happy reading and happy 4th of July!

*In accordance with FTC guidelines, I must disclose that I received this book free from the publisher in exchange for a review posted here on my blog.

50 Shades of Grey Trilogy by E.L. James

I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to blog about this book series. Well, of course I can blog about it. What I was concerned about was if I was going to be able to blog about it tactfully. But I thought since everyone in the free world is reading and talking openly about it, I might as well too, right? The series is a trilogy and I have read all three so I will review them together as one big book which is really what they technically are.

50 Shades of Grey is officially labeled a “romance”. That’s the section I was directed to when looking for it at Barnes & Noble – a section, if I’m completely honest, I don’t think I had ever been in before. Foreign territory. But let’s get right down to it, shall we. This is porn, pure and simple. I’m not saying that’s bad. And yes, it is romantic too. But it’s porn. Now, I’m not sure if all “romance” novels are pornish. Like I said, this was my first. Maybe the rest of you book nerds can enlighten me.

But there I was in the “romance” section searching for this book and it was sold out. Apparently it’s sold out all over the greater metro area forcing me to download it to my Nook. Which turned out to be a good thing since after reading it, I’m not sure I would want to be seen in public buying it or reading it. There’s a reason a local female radio host turned scarlet red and made me promise not to think of her as a pervert when I saw her at a restaurant and told her I was buying the book because she had been talking about it on her radio show.

OK, so here’s the story. It’s really a fairy tale as old as time: awkward girl meets handsome, rich boy. Boy pursues girl. Boy turns out to be into dominant/submissive sex play and asks girl to sign a contract so he can tie her up, spank her and torture her with various instruments in his extensively appointed medieval sex chamber. Boy and girl live happily ever after. The end.

Oh, I’m sorry. Is that not how most little girl’s romantic dreams go?

It definitely isn’t how awkward, bookish, soon-to-be college graduate Anastasia Steele imagined her Mr. Right. Until she meets Christian Grey. Christian is an insanely gorgeous billionaire and the most eligible bachelor in the Pacific Northwest. However, he sees something in Anastasia and begins pursuing her, much to Ana’s bewilderment. And Ana is drawn to Christian too. It’s magnetic. But Christian, despite his success, his good looks and his charm, has a deep dark obsession that I so unceremoniously spoiled above.

Book one is really just a built up. Will Ana sign the contract and agree to be Christian’s sub or will she be able to draw Christian out of his damaged shell into a real relationship? And James uses book one to set the scene, sex wise. It’s shocking at first, the detail and graphicness of the sex scenes. There is a LOT of sex - kinky, kinky, sometimes quite violent sex. One friend, when describing the book, said she thought she would never hear herself say it but she found herself getting tired of all the sex. I have to agree.

However, books two and three delve a little deeper into Christian’s and Ana’s relationship. The sex lost a little of its novelty and naughtiness and I found myself wanting to get on with the plot instead of the naughty bits. James obliges somewhat.

The story attempts to be a modern day Jane Eyre, which, as one of my absolute favorites; one that I have read repeatedly since I was 12, it falls quite flat. The rich yet damaged man with a deep dark secret falls for the penniless, virtuous, simple maiden. Although instead of an insane wife in the attic like Rochester, Grey has a depraved, sadistic streak that makes him want to beat then bed young women who look like his birth mother.

Despite its porniness (have I said “porn” enough?), I was quite surprised at how well written it was. For porn. Yes, a lot of the dialogue is quite cheesy, especially the sexy time talk. There is a lot of “oh baby” and “let me hear you baby” and “you belong to me baby”. There are a lot of sexy, smoldering stares, fists in the hair and long, passionate, deep, demanding kisses. In truth, I think James copied and pasted the first sex scene and then added various kinky situations and accoutrements for each subsequent sex scene. But, once again, it is what it is and it could have been a whole lot worse.

Apart from all the porntasticness, there is a plot and it’s quite engaging. The romantic parts are hug-yourself-and-grin romantic, the sexy parts are hot and sexy and the funny parts are laugh-out-loud hilarious. It’s a fun, fast read – perfect for the pool or beach this summer. That is if you want to be seen in public reading it. But like I said, everyone is reading it so if you want to be like all the cool kids and be up on the latest popular book discussion, you’ll want to pick this one up. Or safely and privately download it (and the following two in the trilogy) to your Nook like I did. I’m giving it four bows. But I want to qualify that rating. I gauge my ratings on a few different factors – writing quality, cohesiveness, plot and storyline, character likability, etc. This isn’t a Pulitzer Prize winning literary masterpiece. But I couldn’t put it down and that says a lot.

Let me know what you thought of 50 Shades of Grey. And let me know how many strangers have accosted you and started talking to you about the book, and by extension, their own personal sex life. Because that’s actually happened to me quite a lot in the last week or two. Much to my dismay. Until next time, happy reading!

North and South by John Jakes

You may best remember North and South as a television miniseries in the early 1980s starring Patrick Swazye and his mullet. I'm not sure mullets were prevalent in civil war era America but they sure were prevalent on The Swazye in the '80s. God rest his soul. I can remember my mom reading all three books in the trilogy and I remember our family watching the miniseries. It was quite the television event at the time. Being 10 at the time of the miniseries airing, I naturally don't remember much of it so when I came across it awhile ago in my mom's book collection, I asked to borrow it.

Ye Olde Mullet

North and South chronicles the lives of two families - the Mains (Hey, that's my family's surname! Cool! Now I'm even more interested!) of South Carolina and the Hazards of Pennsylvania. The Mains run a successful rice plantation and - you guessed it - own many slaves. The Hazards own a large ironworks factory and don't own slaves. Orry Main and George Hazard meet at West Point and despite their cultural differences, become fast friends. They later fight in the Mexican/American war together where Orry loses an arm in battle and George saves his life.

After the war, Orry returns to South Carolina to run the family's cotton plantation and wallow in misery due to his lack of a left arm and the fact that the woman he loves has married a local a-hole. George returns to Pennsylvania to run the ironworks, raise a family and presumably smoke cigars. Seriously! He is always smoking a cigar in the book. Jakes features George's cigar smoking so prevalently that I can only assume he's setting the character up to die of lung cancer in one of the following books.  Don't tell me if he does.  I want to be surprised.

Tensions rise between the northern Americans and southern Americans as the slavery issue heats up and the country draws closer and closer to civil war. Through it all, Orry and George are determined to keep theirs and their families friendships intact.

Jakes did his research for North and South. I learned a lot about the lead up, characters involved and the circumstances surrounding the civil war. Jakes even inserts some key real-life characters into the story to interact with the fictional characters including Robert E. Lee and President Lincoln himself.  However, some of the history seems forced or awkward.  Characters will spontaneously begin debating issues unrelated to what was currently happening in the book or random characters will appear out of nowhere to provide exposition.  And Jakes also conveniently positions his characters so they can basically Forrest Gump their way through the civil war.  Oh look, two of the characters are conveniently at West Point when Robert E. Lee was the head master.  Oh look, one of the characters is conveniently stationed at Fort Sumter when it is fired upon.  Oh look, two of the characters happen to be on a train that is detained during John Brown's raid in Harper's Ferry, Virginia.  It all just felt contrived.

That being said, this is basically a 735 page Harlequin romance with some history thrown in. There is a LOT of bodice ripping and passionate embracing going down.  And the dialogue is equally cheesy.  I really just got the feeling that Jakes isn't that good of a writer.  Yes, he was able to create an elaborate world with many, many characters rooted in historical events.  He just didn't do it skillfully.  Margaret Mitchell did it a helluva lot better.

And my biggest problem with the book (which might be a little spoilery):  735 pages; one huge, lengthy book and the war hasn't even started yet!  Come on!  Yes, I get it.  There was a lot of lead up to the war.  We didn't just go to war overnight.  But let's get to the point already.  Which means, I guess I have to read the second in the trilogy, Love and War, which by the name alone almost guarantees more bodice ripping.

I'm giving North and South two and a half bows.

It wasn't awful. There are some scenes that are quite griping and the history is solid.  But it is also fairly ridiculous and cheesy. I'll at least read the second book.  But not right away.  I need some palate cleansing first.  Until next time, happy reading fellow book nerds!

Hello! Is This Thing On?

Hello again!  Long time no see.  Let's sit down and chat awhile, catch up on things, shall we?

Yep, it's been about eight months since I last posted on this blog.  There's been some pretty heavy stuff going on in my life that has drawn my attention away from just about everything except breathing.  My father was in a serious car accident and hospitalized for nearly two months.  He's doing much better now, recovering nicely.  I have been diagnosed with a particularly annoying and time consuming digestive disease that has required many tests, medications and a short stint in the hospital for myself as well.  I have also made some career changes.  I'm still an accountant by day (at least until I write the Great American Novel) but have taken a position as controller with a new company.  "Controller" is just a fancy word for someone who runs an accounting department for a small company.  Needless to say, this new job comes with some pretty hefty responsibilities and stress.  Things are settling down now, however.  Day to day life is starting to return to normalcy.

I have still been recieving all your author/publisher review submissions and filing them away.  I hope to return to reading and reviewing these submissions again but for the time being, I just want to get back in the swing of things.  If you have sent me a review request, I will be in contact soon on whether or not I will be able to accomodate your request.  I have been inundated with submissions and am unfortunately going to have to refuse some.  Alas, I don't do this for a living and therefore have limited time for reading and blogging.

However, during these last few months, I did not stop reading.  I haven't been reading as much but still reading nontheless.  A few of the titles that I read during my absence from this blog that I may or may not get around to telling you about include Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil by John Berendt, A Clash of Kings by George R.R. Martin, The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows, and Prince of Thieves by Chuck Hogan.  I just finished North and South by John Jakes and have already started writing the review for it so look for that soon.  In the meantime, leave me a comment on what all everybody is reading.  I'd love to hear from you again.

Shannon